Love to Listen and Learn to Love

I've been exploring the concepts of stories and perspectives and the more I think about these things, the clearer the connection to love becomes. Contemplative teacher Daniel Thorson defines love as the capacity to see the world from another's perspective. This capacity is not something that we have by default - loving, even in this sense, is an art that we need to learn and practice our whole lives.

The very first step towards this capacity of seeing from another's perspective, is to listen. Without fully paying attention to the other, we will not be able to truly see from their perspective. One might be able to understand rationally the points the other makes, the way a debater understands the opponent's arguments in order to counter them, but this is not what we're talking about here. What I mean is listening in order to really understand (and maybe even feel) where the other is coming from, what the story is that the other inhabits. In order to do this, one needs to, at least temporarily, drop one's own perspective. We can thus see how wisdom is required in order to love. What's remarkable is that love and wisdom can form a virtuous cycle - each one deepening the other. The wiser we are, the more we'll be able to empathetically understand someone, and thus to love them. Conversely, as we grow in love, we open ourselves up more to other people and their perspectives, and come to understand how different perspectives might help us overcome our own blind spots.